Recent studies have found that 70% of children quit their sport before the age of 13!
This is a shocking figure, but covers all sports, not necessarily true to our sport.
Here are the three main reasons for this high percentage of drop out:
- No longer having any fun
- Not enough time for socialising and seeing friends
- Parent pressure
Luckily, there are research suggestions to help minimise drop out:
- Guide goalsetting away a little from ‘winning’ towards ‘having fun’. Parents and coaches should redefine success in terms of keeping participation as fun as possible
- Balance parental involvement. Parental support and involvement is crucial for sporting success in terms of providing support and investment. However, over involvement such as instructing from the ringside and criticizing any mistakes can take away the joy of sports
- Allow children to make choices about their level of participation
- Decrease pressure about winning. Emphasis should be placed on achievable expectations, with an emphasis on enjoyment instead of winning
- Allow them time to develop their own resilience!
But why would kids in equestrian sport need more resilience than other sports…
There is no other sport like equestrian, no other sport where you are reliant on animal, their thoughts their effort or even the lack of it! And we all know things can go wrong, sometimes with drastic consequences. Horses go lame, lose confidence or simply decide it’s not for them anymore. So, children need to be more resilient in our sport than in most other sports!
But are we born resilient our can it be developed?
Of particular importance is the growing evidence that resilience is not an innate, fixed characteristic, but can be developed through carefully targeted interventions. In other words, we aren’t born resilient but we can learn to be more resilient with help.
Parents can play a huge part in developing resilience by encouraging their children to:
- Learn to accept what has happened and can’t change
- Make a list of their strengths and capabilities (courage, resilience) and regularly update
- Understand that there are no ‘quick fixes’
- Be optimistic and look for positives
- Look at mistakes as learning
- Adopt humour – a smile and a laugh can often be just the right tonic in challenging moments
Parent Coping Strategies
Sometimes parents find being at a competition a challenge too, and can often feel that whatever they do is wrong in their child’s eyes. Some strategies that might help in this situation are:
- Anticipating ‘hot spots’ and avoid them
- Distancing yourself if necessary – let someone else work them in or do the practice fence
- Delegating – multi-tasking is tough in the competition environment
Parents often have to cope with children who put too much pressure on themselves as they’re regularly competing against equally high-achieving athletes. They can berate themselves when a result doesn’t go their way, which can be hard for a child to process, especially at a young age. A huge amount of reassurance is needed from those around them, which includes friends as well as parents and coaches.
Don’t underestimate the power of friendships
For youths, it is great to create memories with and be able to talk about it in future years when the times have passed. These ‘sports friends’ often are the ‘go-to’ friends in tough situations as they have a shared interest and bond, and generally the preferred choice over talking to school friends, where popularity and appearances may be a larger factor.
So, in summary, if it’s not been their best day......
- Give them some time (the ‘10 minute rule’)
- Be aware of your own reactions on competition days
- Get their opinion first
- Pick out positives
- Give reassurance, not criticism
- Tell them that there will be other times
- Be positive about what they have learnt
- Don’t mention the cost
- Smile!
